By Abigail Martina (@abigail.martina)
Thursday February 2, 2017, changed our lives completely. He was finally here after carrying him for 40 weeks and 5 days, our son Caleb James. 50% Dutch/ 25% Surinamese and 25% Caribbean, made out off 100% love. Our own mixed baby!
When he cried for the first time it really sounded like music to my ears. Can you believe it? I guess all clichés are true! The pain disappeared (well temporarily :-) as snow in the sun. From the moment the doctor placed him carefully on my chest, his cry instantly changed in a satisfied sound of relief, he looked at me and I felt it, he knew me! So many different emotions flooded at that moment. The biggest realization that felt like a warm bath was the fact that I, Abigail, suddenly became a mom.
I want to take you guys back into my background. My husband and I have been together for 9 years, of which 4.5 years married. He is Dutch and I’m half Antilian/ Surinamese so that makes our son a real mixed baby. We are so called an Interracial couple. (See our story; How we met)
From the moment we knew we were expecting we already discussed that there was no such thing as an interracial way of nurturing, the foundation should be: LOVE! In that way we didn’t want to put too much emphasis on each other's culture. And I’m not saying we don’t use a bit of both of our cultures, but it’s not a battle between who’s culture is the most influential. The biggest challenge is therefore to work as a UNIT. In the end, Caleb should not see any differences in the way we nurture him.
‘’I refuse to choose’’
The plus of a mixed family is the diversity of cultures! What ultimately stands out in a nice fusion. I speak from experience being a mixed kid as well. That’s why when people ask, Abigail are you more Surinamese then Caribbean? For me it's like choosing between my mom and dad. And I REFUSE to choose. And therefore I don’t want the same thing for my son. See it this way, both cultures have their qualities and differences but together makes it dynamic!
But the funny thing about raising a mixed kid is that the kid doesn’t even know that he’ s mixed (in this early stage). All he wants and need is to be loved.
And that’s what are we going to do! (For the rest of his life).
For more from Abigail, check out her YouTube channels
Josh & Abi
and follow her on Instagram @abigail.martina